God created each of us in His unique way with distinct personalities, gifts, talents and interests. Such is the case even among siblings raised in the same environment. Mary and Martha, two sisters who were friends with Jesus, were no exception.
While each had a profound love for Jesus, each expressed their love for Him distinctly. As friends of Jesus, Jesus stayed with them at their home. Yet each had a unique approach to receiving and spending time with Jesus when he visited them.
Martha was a gracious hostess and in modern terms, would have been considered the “hostess with the mostess.” She was a perfectionist who wanted everything to be orderly and just right when Jesus stayed with them. She could often be found busy, doing many things. Her love for Jesus was expressed through her actions, ensuring that all of Jesus’ creature comforts were met.
Mary, on the other hand, valued Jesus’ company. Rather than focusing on cleaning, cooking and tasks associated with hosting a guest, Mary valued spending quality time with Jesus. In fact, Mary could be found sitting at Jesus’ feet listening to His teachings. Mary’s love for Jesus was expressed through quality time and presence.
Martha would eventually become frustrated with Mary’s lack of assistance, calling Mary out for not being more helpful and questioning Jesus, saying:
“Lord, don’t you care that my sister has left me to do the work by myself? Tell her to help me.” ~ Luke 10:40 NIV
Jesus would reply to Martha:
“Martha, Martha, the Lord answered, “you are worried and upset about many things, but few things are needed – or indeed only one. Mary has chosen what is better, and it will not be taken away from her.”
~ Luke 10:41-42 NIV
It wasn’t hard to see myself in both Martha and Mary. I admit that I have that “hostess with the mostess” attitude when it comes to demonstrating hospitality and can completely relate to Martha’s approach when receiving guests. I am guilty of being preoccupied with perfection and everything associated with being a good hostess at the expense, at times, of simply being fully present to all that is surrounding me.
Jesus was reminding Martha, and me, for that matter, that while life requires doing, it’s important to be present, as Mary was. I was reminded that there is no substitute for offering your full attention to someone and to life.
Martha reminded me of the importance of bringing one’s concerns to Jesus as she expressed her frustration to Jesus when Mary chose to sit at Jesus’ feet rather than help her. Jesus, in turn, would offer his perspective to Martha about her concerns. I could definitely relate to Martha in this regard, as I tend to bring not only my worries, fears and concerns but also my expressions of joy and thanksgiving to Jesus. What Martha did is exactly what Jesus would want for us to do. Martha reminds us that we, too, can bring all that is in our hearts and minds to Jesus. Nothing is too big or small for Jesus and He welcomes us, as we are. The Bible tells us:
“Caste all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.” ~ 1 Peter 5:7 NIV
As Mary sat at Jesus’ feet, she demonstrated what mattered most – putting Jesus first. Through Mary, I was reminded of my own relationship with Jesus and my commitment to making Jesus my highest priority.
We see the uniqueness of Mary and Martha again in how they dealt with the death of their brother Lazarus, “the one Jesus loved.” When Jesus finally arrived to come to see about Lazarus, it was four days after his death. Martha, demonstrating that same action-oriented spirit, went out to meet Jesus. Scripture reveals Martha’s words to Jesus:
“Lord,” Martha said to Jesus, “if you had been here, my brother would not have died.”
~ John 11:21 NIV
It is understandable that Martha would feel this way, as she had just lost her brother. Yet Martha would also demonstrate extraordinary faith in the midst of her grief, as she said to Jesus:
“But I know that even now God will give you whatever you ask.”
~ John 11:22 NIV
Martha would demonstrate even more trust and faith in her response to Jesus when He tells her that Lazarus will rise again:
Martha answered, “I know he will rise again in the resurrection at the last day.”
~ John 11:24 NIV
Mary’s response to Jesus’ arrival would initially be in stark contrast to Martha’s. While Martha went out to meet Jesus, Mary chose to stay in the house. Mary demonstrated the same laid-back spirit that she had when she sat at Jesus’ feet during his stay at their house. Perhaps Mary was too consumed with grief over the death of her brother to come out. Upon Jesus’ arrival, Mary fell to his feet, weeping. The events surrounding the death of Lazarus would cause Jesus to weep too.
Mary shared Martha’s sentiments that Lazarus would not have died if Jesus would have arrived sooner. While Martha demonstrated tremendous faith, Mary was overcome with tremendous emotion. Yet, in an act of love and humility, Mary would, at a later time, after Lazarus’ rising from the dead, anoint Jesus’ feet with expensive perfume, wiping His feet with her hair.
I am reminded of so much through both Mary and Martha. I’m reminded that there is beauty in the uniqueness of each of us. Martha reminds me that holding onto one’s faith matters as does bringing all that is in our hearts and minds to Jesus. Martha also teaches me that while living life involves action, there’s a distinction between the actions that life demands of me and getting too caught up in the “busyness” of life. Mary reminds me that my relationship with Jesus is my highest priority and that it is important to offer your full attention to life and others. Mary also teaches me that there is beauty in love that is expressed through vulnerability, humility and reverence.
What did Martha and Mary reveal to you? Do you relate more with the character of Martha, Mary or both? Please share. I’d love to hear from you!